Whose Game is it Anyway?

 

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon and your plans are made. You could not have asked for a more perfect day. Your child has a soccer game and you are really looking forward to it. You arrive at the soccer fields, which are bursting forth with colors from the children's uniforms, radiant under a brilliant sun.

 

Settled into your chair on the sidelines, you sigh with contentment as you see your child running on the field. Your team's parents surround you, as they happily cheer on their team. Everyone seems to be engrossed in watching the game when suddenly, there is a jolting sound more unsettling than the wail of a newborn baby, not ten feet away.

 

It immediately escalates into a roar of angry directives filled with explicative, directed towards the kids on the field. You and the other parents glance sheepishly at one another, then resume cheering with guarded enthusiasm.

 

The opposing team's parents show no visible reaction, silently grateful that their team screamer(s) isn't there as well. There is no indication that the offending parent(s) cares about the disturbance that he/she is causing. Gradually a few others start to join in and you hold tight to your chair as you begin to feel like you are in the middle of a Jerry Springer Show! By now the soccer game has been paled by the frenzied drama unfolding on the sidelines.

 

This type of behavior is quickly becoming all too common at youth soccer games. What's more, parents are not only verbally abusive towards coaches, referees and kids; physical attacks on officials and parents are also becoming far too frequent. As a result of this, many leagues and clubs have implemented:

 

·        A Parent's Code of Conduct

·        Be supportive of your coach.

·        The opponents are necessary friends. Without them your child  

     could not participate;

 

·        Applaud good plays by your team AND by members of the opposing team.

·        Do not openly question an official's judgment and honesty. Officials are symbols of fair play, integrity and sportsmanship.

·        Accept the results of each game. Encourage your child to be gracious in victory, and to turn defeat into victory by working towards improvement.

·        Bruce Brownlee, a highly respected coach, formerly from the Tophat Soccer Club, is well known for his advice on the treatment of players writes this:

 

    Things Players Love to Hear from Their Parents before the

    match

 

-         I Love You

-         Good Luck

-         Have Fun

 

        After the Match:

 

-         I Love You

-         It was great to see you play

-          What would you like to eat?

 

If a fan feels too limited by these suggestions, the Tophat handbook, which is made for the families in the club, offers some help with the following:

 

Official List of Approved Cheers

 

1.    Win the ball!

2.    Let's go (your team name), you can do it!

3.    Nice pass (or shot throw-in etc.)

4.    Keep Hustling!

 

Official List of Prohibited Cheers

 

1.    Any sentence or phrase that starts or ends with or includes,    

    "Referee" or "Linesman", such as "Are you blind, Referee?"

2.    "Kick it hard!"

3.    "Go get the ball!"

4.    Any negative comment directed at any player, especially your own child.

 

Tips for Parents

-         Soccer is a team sport.

-         Our children made the team not us.

-         If you think your child is better than the other children on the team congratulations you probably fall into the majority of soccer parents.

-         A soccer match is not won or lost by any one child.

 

So the next time you are on your way to a soccer game, take a copy of this article and nonchalantly drop it next to your offending team parent.

 

As for your part; try to be a good role model for other parents and especially your kids. And if you're well behaved at the game, don't blow it by being guilty of causing what some refer to it as worst 20 minutes in a child's soccer game, you know, the ride home; play by play analysis of what your child, or the coach should have done differently.

 

We have all found ourselves at one time or another, giving our children too much input. We would do well to remember that these are just children, and they are not capable or ready to behave according to our adult perceptions. Life is difficult enough for children, shame on us for expecting them to spend their recreational time as if there were no room for mistakes or more importantly, fun.

 

The bottom line can be summed up with one question: WHOSE GAME IS IT ANYWAY?