JEERS & CHEERS by John L. Pitts, Illustration by Mike Curti
Can a basketball player who has probably never laced up a pair of skates have any good advice for hockey parents? The answer is yes. Former NBA superstar Charles Barkley triggered a controversy in 1993 when he insisted in a Nike commercial that "I am not a role model." What is often forgotten, however, is the rest of that quote: " . . . parents should be role models." It's something to think about the next time you complain to your child's coach about playing time, or trash an official's call in post-game discussions at the dinner table: Are you setting a good example for your child? Your child already knows the answer to that question, whether you do or not.
Parental involvement in youth sports can be a double-edged sword. Without legions of hockey moms and dads to drive young players to practice, serve as volunteer coaches and pay the freight, youth leagues would quickly wither and die. It's the same story in any other sport you can think of, from soccer to swimming to baseball to football. But parents can sometimes cross the line. As a result, out-of-control parents are a growing issue in youth sports around the country, not just hockey.
"Parents and coaches have lost perspective on what sports is about," says an exasperated spokesman for the National Association of Sports Officials. According to the Boston Globe, there are at least three incidents a week across the country involving violent behavior by spectators, parents or participants in youth sports leagues. "It's not a hockey parent issue, it's a society issue," laments Kevin McLaughlin, USA Hockey's director of youth hockey. "This kind of thing has always happened, but with more and more players you're going to have more incidents .... Parents put a lot of money and time into a sport and they begin to feel the pressure of wanting to see results." Hockey parents can give the whole sport a black eye when they cross that line. That's especially unfortunate because the sport's public image is vital to bringing in more new players to the sport, and to help enlist community interest in new facilities and other forms of support.
What's the answer to stemming this kind of behavior? USA Hockey puts its emphasis on a Zero Tolerance Policy when it comes to disruptive incidents. USA Hockey has also developed a Parent Awareness Program, which produces pamphlets and videos at the youth hockey level illustrating the do's and don'ts of watching a hockey game. "It's not a hockey parent issue, it's a society issue," laments Kevin McLaughlin, USA Hockey Leagues all over the country have adopted the USA Hockey Parents Code of Conduct, many of them modeled after a code published in American Hockey Magazine in 1993. Some excerpts from other codes of conduct from youth hockey grassroots around the country:
* Parents are expected to provide encouragement and support for their team coaches. Any issues of disagreement should be brought forth in a spirit of cooperation. (Camillus, N.Y.)
* Parents are expected to know the rules, support the officials and display good sportsmanship . . . .Remember that children learn best by example, so applaud the good plays of both teams." (Colorado Springs, CO)
* I agree not to be critical of the hockey program or other players in front of my children. (Frederick, MD)
* I will never ever yell at my child for mistakes that are made on the ice .... I will accept the results of each game, and teach my child to be gracious in victory and to turn defeat into victory by working towards improvement .... I will always remember that my child plays the game of hockey to have fun.' (Marshall, MN)
Add all of these ideas together and what do you get? "We must be role models for sportsmanship, teamwork and self-control," says USA Hockey Executive Director Doug Palazzari. After all, while it's unlikely that your young hockey player will grow up to be another Mike Modano or John Vanbiesbrouck - or even get to the NHL at all - there's no reason why you can't strive to be a hall of fame hockey parent. That's a goal that can help elevate everybody in the sport.
John L. Pitts is a writer and editor living in north Alabama. Reprinted, with permission, from American Hockey Magazine, September, 2000
