"Learning From The Kids" By John Murphy, CYSA Chairman
I have learned over time that it is a great idea to every now and then stop and think about some of the things that we adults learn from the kids in youth soccer. Pausing to reflect on a few of these experiences serves to refresh and restore, reminding us why we do what we do, how much fun it really is, and how we don't quite know as much as we think we do.
Recently, while returning from a TOPSoccer event in Castro Valley - something that is truly inspiring beyond words, I got to thinking about our soccer kids teaching us adults a few lessons we need. I decided it would be a good idea to relate a few of the experiences I know about here. Each "lesson" is a true story. Hopefully, reading this will also get you to think of some of the lessons our kids are teaching us and maybe, just maybe smile a little.
Lesson 1: Thinking outside the box. After an under-10 game, a nine-year-old girl came up to the coach. The conversation went like this: Girl: "Why is there air in soccer balls"? Coach: "So the ball won't be flat." Girl: "Why not water? Coach: "It would make the ball too heavy." Girl: "Then why not use the stuff they put in balloons so that the ball would not be so heavy?" Coach: "It would make the ball too light." Girl: "I think you should think more about this." The coach hasn't been the same since. He is still thinking about it. She could be right: why not helium or hydrogen or something other than air? Maybe air isn't the best "filler" for soccer balls.
Lesson 2: Humility. During a very hard fought and excellent game between two under-19 premier women's teams, the referee repeatedly did not call fouls committed on the goalkeeper because she just kept outplaying her opponents and coming out with the advantage. The keeper could see that the referee saw the fouls, knew he was not calling them, and was increasingly getting irritated. After she made a fantastic save and an attacker launched the ball way over the goal line there was a brief break in the game while a player went to get the ball. The keeper started walking straight at the referee with a look on her face that spelled nothing but trouble. As she came closer, the referee stood there and thought what is she going to do - punch me out, slap me, tell me off, or what. She did worse. Without saying a single word, the keeper walked right up to the referee, reached up and very gently took his glasses off his face, cleaned the lenses on her jersey, just as carefully put them back on the referee's face, and walked back to her position.
Lesson 3: Perspective. The kids in an under-12 game were having a great time, lots of fun and a really good game for both teams with the score tied. The sidelines were going berserk because, well because they are the sidelines. The coaches were intense and the parents were emotionally over the top. With just a few seconds left in the game, an 11-year-old had a break away, got the ball a few feet in front of an open goal, and - and - stopped, looked up, pointed at the sky and said, "hey, everyone look at the geese." The kids all looked up and the game ended as the time ran out. The sidelines lost it. The kids discussed their ideas on why geese would fly in a "V" and wondered out loud where they were going.
Lesson 4: Playing by the "rules." During an under-8 game the ball squirted out of the pack and came to a complete stop. Every kid on the field froze in place. The coaches, the referee, the parents, everyone yelled to the kids to go get the ball. Not a single kid moved a muscle. No amount of encouragement could get them to move. Exasperated, the referee touched the ball with his foot so that it moved and every kid instantly took off after the ball and the game was on. Afterwards the thoroughly perplexed adults asked the kids why they did not go after the ball when it stopped. The answer: "You can't go after the ball when it is not moving; it's the rule." So, ask yourself what is the lesson here the next time a young player comes up to you and asks: "How come we have numbers on our shirts instead of letters?" We adults have so much to learn.
